


Deserve to Die

by thatgirlinredandgold



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Anti Ward, Confrontation, F/M, Gen, Protect Jemma Simmons 2k15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 12:17:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3850681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirlinredandgold/pseuds/thatgirlinredandgold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Simmons,” He begins and suddenly his smile looks more like a grimace. “You don’t want to do this.”</p>
<p>She cocks her gun in response.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deserve to Die

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't meant to be a statement about Ward in any sense of the word. This is about Jemma Simmons and finally getting the chance to say all the things she's been bottling up all season. This is what I believe would be a realistic confrontation between Ward and Simmons, and not what I personally believe about his character. I know that Ward is a touchy subject with a lot of fans, so I've tagged this accordingly, and have to ask that if something that could possibly be perceived as anti ward makes you angry than you should probably click out of this. I shouldn't be terrified to post fics about Ward, so please don't make it so anybody else has to feel the same way.

The next time she sees Ward it feels like her heart has ceased to beat inside her chest. And even though she tells herself a thousand and one ways that such a thing is not biologically possible, she can’t stop herself from spiraling downwards, heartbeat stalled and mind moving impossibly fast. It is almost instinct, really, that causes her to pull the gun.

His smile is cool and all too condescending, so she grips the gun only tighter. “Simmons,” He begins and suddenly his smile looks more like a grimace. “You don’t want to do this.”

She cocks her gun in response.

“You won’t do this.” He says, raising his hands in a false show of surrender. “You can’t.”

His words cause something to stir inside her, and immediately she feels herself tip over the edge, an entire year of anger, and sadness, and carefully restrained fury spilling out of her all at once. Her voice is colder than she’s ever remembered it, her hands shaking violently but refusing to put down the gun. “Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do, or that I shouldn’t, or that I don’t want to. You deserve to die.” Her voice cracks suddenly, but she refuses to stop as her voice comes out just above a whisper.  “You deserve to die.”

Suddenly she’s aware of how alone she is. There’s no one around to tell her to stop, no one to keep her from losing all control. It’s just her and Ward in another Hydra base and her team is too far away to pull her back. It’s just her and Ward and no one can stop her.

Somehow this fuels her, and she finds the strength to put power back into her words. “Out of everybody that we have lost, even Trip, especially Trip, it’s you that deserves to die. And yet you’re still here. Why? How is that fair? How?” She’s become hysterical and she knows it, can feel her voice thick and tears just stinging the corner of her eyes.

“Simmons-”

“Don’t interrupt me! You don’t have a single thing to say to me! I have been silenced, and spoken over, and ignored for months, and I refuse to be treated like that by you. You destroyed my life and claim to not even even regret it, and I can’t even begin to-”

“I was trying to save you! I was giving you a chance to-”

She shoots before he has a chance to finish, aiming a bullet just above his left shoulder. Jemma lets out a startled cry when she sees him flinch back. She supposes neither of them really believed she would have the guts to pull the trigger. When she finally settles her heart rate back to a semi-normal level she begins again. “You weren’t trying to save us, so don’t lie to me. Don’t try to make me think that you were justified in throwing us out of a plane. Just don’t! You took us onto the Bus by force, you let us be taken into custody, you cornered us in that pod, and you pressed the button. That was you! That wasn’t Garrett. That wasn’t Hydra. That was you, Ward.

“I don’t know what you want from us, but you will never be a part of our team again. Every time you open your mouth you have some excuse ready to throw at us, about how you were just a victim, just being controlled by Garrett, and how you really cared for us all along. But I don’t want to hear it anymore. You can’t use your past as a crutch, you can’t use it to justify taking the lives of _innocent_ people, SHIELD agents or otherwise. We’ve all had our traumas, Ward. It’s impossible to be in this kind of work and not. But none of us would ever do what you did. Not Skye, not May, not Coulson, not Fitz.”

She pauses for a breath just long to hear heavy footsteps as Fitz rounds the corner looking more terrified than she’s ever seen. He meets her eyes and his shoulders relax in a sigh of relief, but his expression is unreadable. She wonders briefly if he will be angry, or disappointed, or even proud. But before she can decide she finds that the words are tumbling out of her.

“And Fitz…” She moves her gaze away from her friend and back to the man with a gun pointed at his chest. “You made the most brilliant man I know feel like he was worthless, like he had lost the only asset he had. You made him feel isolated and alone. You made him feel like I couldn’t love him for who he had become. You-” She can feel a sob working its way up, threatening to spill over. “You tried to take away the person I care about more than anything in this world and I will not, can not, forgive you for that.”

For once he seems to be left speechless, as if some of her words had actually seeped through his hardened persona. But it lasted only for a moment before he called up the act they had all become so familiar with over the past several months. “Simmons, I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not. _I’m_ sorry. I’m sorry that I lied. I’m sorry that I left and that I pushed my best friend away. I’m sorry that I couldn’t handle it, and that I couldn’t help him, and that I was scared, and weak, and… I’m just so sorry. You, however, you are not sorry. Apologies don’t have motives, Ward.”

She chances a glance back at Fitz, almost scared to see how he will react. She used to think that communication came naturally to them, just two minds operating off the same wavelength. Words had seemed unnecessary, if only for the benefit of those around them. This past year had proved her devastatingly wrong. But some things never change, and psychic links don’t just break, so when he gives her just the smallest nod of his head she knows, whatever she decides to do from here, he’s with her until the very end.

“You’ve made me many things Ward. You’ve made me scared and angry and vengeful, but I refuse to let you make me a killer. Not again. Not this time.” She lowers the gun and takes one final breath before moving back towards Fitz.

She’s only made it halfway before she changes her mind, turning around and raising her gun in one swift motion. She doesn’t take time to think and fires the shot directly at his right shoulder. When the force of it pushes him backwards and he winces in pain she allows herself to really meet his eyes. “That was for Fitz.” She says and continues making her way towards her best friend, whose arms welcome her back without judgement or fear, whose heartbeat matches her own, and whose side she never wants to leave again.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, because I feel like I have to say this, this is not about Ward, this is about Simmons. Please do not make it a Ward-defense battleground, or for that matter, a Ward-hate battleground. He is a complicated character that people have developed incredibly polarized opinions about and I would hate to see something that's meant to explore Jemma's character become something else entirely.


End file.
